anxiety

Starting somewhere new

Hi everyone,

Summer is officially upon us, and I hope you’re all enjoying the holiday- but I’m sure many of you also have a slightly nervous pit in your stomach that comes from starting somewhere new, whether that’s at a new job (like me!), a new school or college, or you’re going off to university. Even just changing year group can be stressful, so don’t feel like your worries aren’t justified. Change is scary for everyone, regardless of what that change is.

Unfortunately, change is pretty much guaranteed, so it pays to try to find a relationship with it that isn’t pure fear. It’s completely natural to feel apprehension towards a change in your life, whether that’s a change in routine, or a change in where you live and what you’re doing. Here are some of my tips for dealing with change, from someone who knows what change can feel like- a scary monster grabbing you by your feet and dragging you into the unknown.

1.       Everyone around you has experienced a big change of some kind, so it’s important to have people around you who can be a listening ear for you if you have any worries, be that friends or family, or even just the cat that you see around your house from time to time. If your worries do overwhelm you though, Off the Record can provide listening and counselling services which you can either refer yourself to online, or you can call them on 01225 312481.

2.       Try and pinpoint what you are specifically worried about. What is it about moving to a new school that scares you? The people? The location you don’t know very well? Not having understanding teachers? From this, figure out what you can practically do about each worry that might make you feel better. Perhaps get in touch with people you know that are going through the same thing, or going to the same place as you, or set up 1-to-1s with teachers so they understand your worries and may be able to help you.  This is essentially the Worry Tree method. This is when you identify a worry, try to find a practical way to get rid of that worry, and then essentially ‘box it up’ in your head once you’ve done all you can to alleviate it. But it is a skill to learn, so don’t panic if this doesn’t work for you. Just give it a go and be proud of yourself for giving it a go.

3.       Think about the last time you were worried about a big change, and how what you were worried about is now the new normal. Nothing is permanent, in the best possible way. So what happens if you don’t like university? You have options- you can change your degree, you can switch universities or you can drop out. If you don’t like your new house? Remember that it is unlikely you will live there forever. The trick is to not fight against change but to fight with it so that you can be as happy as you can so that the change can work out in your favour.

4.       Whatever you’re doing, it can take a while to settle in. I hated my first few months at sixth form, and then it turned out to be some of the best times of my life. The bottom line is that change is scary, regardless of how big or small, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Change is neither inherently good or bad, but it does give us the opportunity to grow as a person and develop some new skills. Even if the change doesn’t work out- what will you learn from it? Think about when things have changed in the past- are you grateful for the change in hindsight? Do you regret it? Even if you do, remember that however you feel is okay- trying to stop yourself from feeling a certain emotion is guaranteed to only make you feel it more intensely. Whether you feel angry, frustrated, happy, relieved or excited- all of those things are normal and natural and you don’t have to feel guilty for feeling them.

Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you. Be patient and kind with yourself, because both your mind and body will need a lot of rest in order to adjust to the change. And remember that if you do want to talk to someone about what you’re dealing with, Off the Record are here to support you.

Written by Jayme Sims, Student Placement LGBT+ Youth Worker

Dealing with exam stress

Summer is a wonderful time to relax, hang out with friends and soak up the sun. But unfortunately, before this time can arrive, so many young people have to take dreaded exams- myself included! As someone who has been through too many exams and deadlines to count, I’ve picked up some tips and tricks along the way that may help you if you are also heading into exam season.

 

1.      Figure out what techniques work out for you. Some people like mind maps. Some like lists. You can rephrase lesson notes, summarise paragraphs in revision guides, or even watch YouTube videos online about what you’re studying. It may be helpful to get some sticky notes or note cards and write down key words and definitions. Just writing them out will help you remember, or you can bring them with you in your bag in case you have a spare 5 minutes to go over them! A virtual alternative to this is Quizlet (https://quizlet.com/en-gb), where you can make flash cards, quizzes and even games that can help you study.

 

2.      How much time do you need? Some people like to start revision months before the exams, and others the night before. I personally don’t recommend leaving things to the last minute, but for some people it works. If you find that the added pressure of a time limit helps you work more effectively, then do whatever works for you! Likewise, if you need to take more time off around exam time to mentally prepare yourself, that’s okay too.

 

3.      Study with friends. You can learn from each other- why not get together and have study sessions? It’s a good excuse to bring some snacks, sit down with some friends and learn something too. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses- perhaps your friend understands something you don’t, and you can help them with something they’re struggling with, helping you to understand it better too. Revision should never be isolating- so many other people are in the same boat, so support each other!

 

4.      How are you going to structure your revision? A subject a day? 3 subjects for a few hours a day? You can create a timetable that works for you, either on paper or online, for example on Get Revising (https://getrevising.co.uk/planner) Perhaps you want to schedule tasks by hours, or by making yourself a to-do list and telling yourself you have to have that list completed by the end of the day. Most importantly, don’t compare yourself to everyone around you. Not everyone studies the same way, and there isn’t really a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ way to study- there’s only what does work for you and what doesn’t. If you’re someone who is easily distracted, you can try the ‘Forest’ app that grows virtual trees as you study (https://www.forestapp.cc) - if you stop studying to check social media, the trees stop growing. 

 

5.      Where do you like to study? You don’t have to be the stereotypical student that hunches over a desk for hours on end. Some people find it helps to be in complete silence, undistracted and in somewhere like a library or bedroom, but others prefer to be out and about. If the weather’s nice, why not go for a walk and sit in a park? A coffee shop? Or even a different room in your house. Figuring out how you study best is just as important to learn as your actual content material, so give yourself time and space to trial different methods and techniques.

 

6.      Look after yourself. This is the most important reminder of all. You are not your grades, and they shouldn’t define who you are. Yes, they are important, but failing is never the end of the world. Everyone’s best is different, and trying your best does not mean pushing yourself to breaking point. It is so important to get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and take time out to relax. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, doing something you enjoy can really help put things into perspective. When you’ve got your head down studying, it can be hard to remember that there’s a whole world out there for you to enjoy and explore. Try your absolute best, but it’s okay if things don’t go according to plan.

 

Finally, good luck! If you do find yourself struggling, remember that Off the Record is here to help, as are your teachers and student support services. You’re never alone, and never be afraid to ask for help. Your mental health is not worth sacrificing for your grades, and whatever happens, you will be okay. 

Jayme :)

Blog written by Jayme Sims

Perry's Body Image Tips

It is Mental Health Awareness Week this week, it’s theme is body image. Watch our video below to hear Perry talking a little bit about body image, as well as some useful tips for if you are struggling with your body image.

If you feel like you need some support, our Listening Support Service may be beneficial - you can fill out a self-referral form here

Find out about B&NES Deputy Member of Youth Parliament!

The UKYP has approximately 300 Members of Youth Parliament (MYP) across the UK, all aged 11-18 years. Elections take place in Bath and North East Somerset (BaNES) every 2 years, and all young people aged 11-18 years living or at school in BaNES are able to stand for election. Once elected, MYP’s organise local events and projects, run campaigns and influence local decision makers on the issues that matter most to young people within BaNES.

Interested in learning more? Below is a little from Renée Weber; Bath & NES Deputy Member of Youth Parliament

“My name is Renée Weber, I am 14 years old and I have been elected as the new deputy member of youth parliament (DMYP) for BANES. I was shocked when I found out but I'm also extremely excited to help make a difference in the local community and help contribute to a national change. 

I have Aspergers, OCD and anxiety, meaning I understand the ongoing mental health crisis.

 Personally, I will be campaigning on mental health but I will also actively be getting involved with all other relevant issues that affect young people.

 I genuinely believe that by working alongside key people I can help develop other's understanding as to what needs to be done. I'm greatly looking forward to this journey and hope to make a positive contribution to the lives that of young people!”

If you would like to find out more information about becoming a Member of Youth Parliament get in contact by emailing charlottefarnham@offtherecord-banes.co.uk